The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Friday, September 30, 2005

Friday - and I am in a sentimental mood

Attire - slim fit blue Ben Sherman shirt, banana republic jeans, blue leather loafers with the squared tip
Mood - Sentimental
Music - "Stay Free: by Ashford and SImpson "you like to watch the clouds drfit in cause you feel so kind of kindred, won't tell nobody what you're into"
Food - Steamed Blue Perch with asparagus, potatoes and carrots w/ a side of jumbo steamed shrimp


Gossip Items - Blind


WHICH soon-to-be-divorced celebrity carries on a secret life in the apartment above his garage? His wife put up with his same-sex philandering for years, but she finally got annoyed with his long-term relationship with a singer staying above the garage . . . . . . WHICH handsome reality TV host rudely insulted two young ladies at the bar in the W Hotel in Times Square with ungentlemanly remarks about the girls' chests? He then called an escort service and was partying with a Russian call girl 20 minutes later.

Does anyone in calss need help with today's two blind items? The first question was really RAW. As I go to bed and enjoy my Harlem Nights, I often say My My My as I thinking back on those nights I left Paris as I was COming to America. I had a nutty professor in college who sued to say things that were so provacative, but I dont get to see him anymore because he became a stay-at-home daddy and now runs a day car.

As for the 2nd item - your guest is as good as mine. All the male host of the realitys how I watch are gay as hell. Aint nobody on AMerica;s Next Top Model dating women except Nigel....alledgedly

Last Night on TV

Everybody Loves Chris - The show was really funny. I really like this one. I am sure the major networks are kicking themselves int he foot that they did not pick this one up.

Will and Grace - The show was live and just goes to show how talented the cast is. But can anyone else tell that no one on the cast likes the actress who plays Rosario? They (the cast) don;t laught at her punchlines. A few years ago when Karen got married in real life, Rosario was not invited to the wedding. It was an Access Hollywood/Entertainment Tonight scandal!

The Apprentice - I am happy the black girl's team won. I need to learn her name so next week I wont be tacky and call her the black girl.

Joey - oh my god..do you have new writers. I acutally laughed a few times. Its funny who the shows with a caucasian flavor are allowed to develop and become funny while funny black shows get the boot! Cause last year's season of Joey was a SHITTY mess. Oh, and now they has the obligatory black character with homosexual tendencides. Well done.

Love Inc - I think Holly Robinson Peete makes good shows. I really wish FOr Your Love would have made it becuase I personally thought it was hilarious. But I love this new show. Its on my Tivo which I got installed yesterday.

I got invited to a record release party las tnight but I did not go because I have already made plans with a friend...we had a TV date. Have you ever done that? See...I can;t date anyone who doesn;t like to watch TV with me. being a pop culture fanatic its really important to me that whomever I date see the value and intensity associated with each and every first-run episode of America's Next Top Model. FOr me, its like watch a United Nations Security Counsel Meeting. Important decision as made.

Speaking of ANTM - Shout of to Lisa...."that bitch works me" She got in front of the camera and was just give me POSES. CLICK. FLASH. POSE. CLICK. FLASH. FACE. She is this season's Eva. I think she will win.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

(BET Comedy Awards) This Week on TV....so far....my CommenTerry

Some Gossip.........

MOTOWN MISHAP

DIANA Ross is almost as bad a driver as Halle "on wheels" Berry. Ross, who was arrested for DWI several years ago, got into a nasty little accident in Los Angeles. Monday afternoon. A passer-by to the melee e-mailed defamer.com: "I just saw Diana Ross had a huge fender-bender (as in the whole freakin' thing came off!) on the corner of Poinsettia and Sunset, and she was hiding in the doorway of a dry cleaner!" The Web site also posted pictures of the superstar singer hiding in that doorway as her car was towed away. Fortunately, no one was hurt.

JUST OUTCOME

AMERICA'S first black female billionaire just got remarried. Sheila Johnson, the ex-wife of BET founder Robert Johnson, tied the knot with Judge William Newman at her Salamander Farm in Middleburg, Va., on Saturday. Newman met Johnson when he presided over her 2002 divorce case against Robert, her husband of 33 years. Newman's decision evenly split the $3 billion Johnson netted after Viacom bought BET.

And in further BET NEWS

BET celebrated Black comedy last night...an art form that is rarely celebrated outside of the trifling direct-to-video movies at Blockbuster and the watered-down comedy of desperate attempts at blockbuster box-office success often at the expense of the brilliant artists (are you listening Tyler Perry?)

Speaking of which, Tyler was looking smashingly butch sitting next to his gentleman friend in the audience. You better keep your Black anti-gay Christian fans wanting more! But please, don't do me anymore favors by telling Ebony and Jet what you are looking for in a woman....I mean....really? Oh ok then.

Hey maybe you and Sean Wayans can do something together....that is if you haven't done so already.

Let me take it fromt he top.....and by the way, as you all know I am reporting in the field from an iBook which does not have the browser capabilities to upload pics and when I went to the Mac store in Soho the hater at the desk would not give me any free upgrades....alas....I have to just give you the printed word sans visuals.

Steve Harvey came out and did a monologue in which a Bush impersonator was attacked by a man in drag named Katrina.....yawn.

What I will saw is that the producers of the show overall did a great job as the opening credits were funny as well as all the skits in between....but your host needs some work. And I dont care how much money you spend on your suits and your gators, I think STeve Harvey's gear is a shitty mess and that goes for Don Juan, all the pimps in detroits and any other man who thinks is fly cause your hat, shows, shirt, tie, coat and pants are all the same color. NEGRO please!

I look better than them hoes in a knock-off suit from H&M.

Back to the show....Tracy Ellis ROss won an award for outstanding actress...more on her later.

And can I pause for a moment to say the best actress in comedy right now is the actress who plays Big Dee-Dee on Half and Half. She is my favorite drag queen and I swear everytime she is on the screen I think I am looking at real fish.

A few comedians did monologues throughout the show. I was disappointed by Sheryl Underwood...and she is usally hysterically funny but I was touched by her acceptance speech as comedienne of the year and by the story she told about her and God. She told the audience that she was on the verge of leaving the comedy game because she felt like she was chasing an unattainable dream, but SHerri Shepard (who I love) prayed with her on the set of Beauty Shop and she said God has been blessing her every since. Well done.

Paul Mooney - I have always been a fan of Paul Mooney, even when I was 8 and his comedy was over my head I liked him. What I did not like was how he dissed Diana Ross while her daughter was int he room. That was beyond tacky. But being the true BAP that she is, Tracy handled the diss with the grace of her mother...she flew out of the auditorium and threw a diva fit in the lobby....same thing I would have done.....well done.

Then I would have slashed the tires on his limo. He was with Stacy J from last season;s Apprentice who also lives on my block. She was on a date with a good-looking white man last week and with Paul Mooney last night. Work it Miss Stacy! But next time you with your black boyfriend have his cousin Keisha hook up that frizzy hair cause last night you looked a hot mess. And work your D-list celebrity status to get a nicer gown next time. I need to think you shop on 5th ave, not a 1st ave sweat shop in Spanish Harlem.

And oh...Shermar Moore gave Niecy Nash a fake kiss during their awards ceremony. Though he can usually butch up and serve the women masculinity, last night he failed and I felt like he'd rather he up there kissing Tyler Perry....did I say that out loud?

Duana Martin was also serving us a good old slice of heterosexuality...well done.

The next generation of repressed bisexual black comedians (lil j and T something 'who stars in Roll Bounce') were also cute and funny. And by the way, I wouldn;t even watch Roll Bounce on bootleg. What was up with them cheap as afro wigs. The prop department need to get that shirt together. The hair on Destiny's CHild's head looks more realistic.

And Chris Rock, Wanda SYkes and Martine Lawrence all got well-deserved awards. Other than that, you didn;t miss shit.








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Friday, September 23, 2005

The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Mood: Pre-Fabulous ( I have an appointment with my barber so I will be feeling Hot Tamale after I get a fade)
Music - What About Love? (Celie and SHug Avery from the Color Purple Musical)
Munchies: left over stewed turkey wings, collard greens, dressing and mashed potatoes that I made last night. Yea....I ate it for breakfast
Gear: Skin-tight Armani exchange shirt, Rock Republic Jeans (I think 7 jeans are getting played out) and black leater penny-loafers w/o the pennies


Not to go all O'marion on you but please pray for my family as they have all had to evacuate Houston.

I will be watching this season's Apprentice with extra diligence as one of my former mentors from undergrad is a contestant.

The ONLY black guy on this year is Randall, and he is a guy I have always admire. He is a Rhodes Scholar, has a BA from MIT and a PhD from Rutgers. In addition to that, he runs his own counsulting firm. Don't you wish you had his resume? I always wanted to be a Rhodes Scholar till I found out that consider involvment in athletic activities as a requirement or at least as a strong motivating facotr in selection....so I knew I have fucked myself out of being a Rhodes Scholar cause I can;t even play dodge ball much less a popular sport. I was thinking maybe I could supplement my lack of athleticism with community involvement but donating last season's fashion to Goodwill didn;t seem to rank high on the list of community involvement. I guess I have some work to do.

But anyway, good luck Randall and don't go all Kwame on us and fall back while them "other" people runa ll over you. The Black girl on there is pretty...but listen, is Banana Republic a sponsor the Apprentice fashion or it that just the store of choice for young people on the corporate come up? Cause I swear to God every woman (every season) is rocking B.Republic hard from the accessories to the suits.

ANTM - I love the lesbian on ANTM. I hope she wins. She has pretty eyes.

The Color Purple comes to Broadway - I got a free CD sampler from Broadway on Broadway. My song of the moment is the lesbian love ballad between Shug Avery and Celie called "What About Love" And how fabulous was it that they had two butch women perform this lesbo-anthem on Broadway in front of a family-oriented audience of white folks. Forget Katrina, does Barbara Bush know how these Black folks are cutting up in Times Square?

CDs to be on ALERT for:

Leela James - SHe is a neo-soul princess from Detroit who now lives in Harlem.

Lil Kim - I have always been a fan every since I first heard her say "I used to be scared of the d...." You know the rest :-)

Jamiroquai - I just love his style and music sensibility. I am excited about his new project.

In other unrelated random news I have two dates this weekend. We will see how they go and I feel that one of my dates has me on the "B" list and I don't do the "B" list under any circumstance. I wouldn;t even let a celebrity B-list me much less some mofo on the come up....allegedly.




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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Gossip, Tyra, and Superhead

Mood: Optimistic
Music: Jesus is a love song - Karen Clark-Sheard featuring the Clark Sisters
Motivation: Wanting to live a fabulous life
Munchies: Burger and fries......I love my George Foreman grill!
Gear: Levi's Low-Riders and a Banana Republic-knit polo, black B.R. sneakers
Eyes: I am rocking my glasses today, no contacts

Something nasty in the air as Karrine goes after Tyra

The claws are back out between Tyra Banks and Video Vixen Karrine Steffans.

Banks was hissing after Steffans, who admits she has been intimate with Jay-Z, Shaquille O'Neal, Usher, Ja Rule, Sean (Diddy) Combs, Vin Diesel and Fred Durst, claimed that she and Tyra "are not that different."

Now catwalker Tyra, who's promoting her fifth season on "America's Next Top Model," is refusing to go on John Salley and Ananda Lewis' L.A. radio show after Steffans used that forum to trash her.

"I heard they call Tyra 'Hollywood Hop,'" Steffans told Salley and Lewis, "for the many men in Hollywood who have bedded Tyra and moved on."

Salley, who's also on Fox Sports Network's "The Best Damn Sports Show Period," said he thought "Tyra was a friend" and just wanted to get her on the radio to promote her talk show. "I still want her on," he told our Jawn Murray.

Banks apparently has other issues with the radio crew. We hear she's not keen on the idea of seeing Salley's sidekick face to face after Tyra stole her -former boyfriend, basketball star Chris Webber, -several years back. "Yeah, she mentioned that she didn't want to come on because we had Ananda on," Salley added.

"There was a request, after Karrine did the show," Banks' rep Cindi Berger told us. "We weren't going to have Tyra do it, because she wasn't going to further publicity for Karrine, therefore the request for Tyra to do the radio show was denied."


Praying for silence

Anne Heche wants everyone to know that it wasn't the power of prayer that made her go straight. The actress is lashing out at her mother for using her name to promote Christian ex-gay events.

"This nonsense about my mother praying for me is really making me angry," the actress vents on her official Web site. "My mother never approved of my relationship with Ellen [DeGeneres]. Her hatred for our relationship is one of the many things that ultimately led to my breaking of all communication with her. (My mother, that is, not Ellen)."

Heche's mother, Nancy Heche, is speaking at a conference held by the Christian group Focus on the Family, which preaches that homosexuality is preventable and treatable. She is billed as "a single parent who experienced the international media rush during her daughter Anne Heche's highly visible relationship with Ellen DeGeneres."

Though Nancy claims the power of prayer led her daughter to abandon her lesbian relationship and marry a man, Anne says she and the talk-show host parted ways because they wanted "different things for our lives."

"The ex-gay events right now make me sick," Heche says. "And for anyone who ever thought that Ellen and I broke it off because of sexuality, you couldn't be more mistaken. And for anyone who thought my mother's prayers had anything to do with me marrying a man, forget it."


Rebecca & Jerry get engaged

After just over a year of dating, Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell are engaged to be married.

O'Connell, 31, proposed to the "X-Men" star in New York this weekend, reports Us Weekly.

"We couldn't be happier and are looking forward to the next chapter of our lives," the couple said in a statement.

It will be the first marriage for O'Connell, but Romijn, 32, was married for six years to "Full House" star John Stamos.

That divorce was finalized in March. O'Connell and Romijn hooked up last August.

Romijn and O'Connell worked together in the unreleased movies "Man About Town" with Ben Affleck and "The Alibi" with Selma Blair. O'Connell stars in NBC's "Crossing Jordan."

No wedding date has been announced.


Side dish

Those photos of Kate Moss snorting white powder just cost the now-in-rehab supermodel $4 million. H&M has canceled her ad campaign, saying she's "inconsistent with H&M's clear dissociation of drugs" … There may be no such thing as a free lunch, but for one lucky New Yorker, there's going to be a free apartment. CitiHabitats teamed up with New York magazine yesterday to give away one month's rent or mortgage. The winning code, 1714, was announced on www.nymag.com, but so far, no winner has stepped forward …

Queen Latifah, Mary J. Blige, Kimora Lee Simmons and Wendy Williams stayed out of the pool at Sky Studios, but Jermaine Dupri dunked his legs as his bodyguard held his Courvoisier …

Which high-profile mag founder doesn't want his famous fiancée to find out about his extracurricular activities — especially his affair with his half-sister? The two have been sharing a bed, much to the chagrin of their father…

Rene Russo is crazy about Randy Coleman's songs. She helped set up a showcase at the Bitter End tonight for the composer, whose dad is actor Dabney Coleman.
Originally published on September 20, 2005


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From fellow Texan - Liz Smith

DR. PHIL HUFFS, PUFFS

 Print  Reprint September 21, 2005 -- 'IT IS not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most incon venient one, too," said H. W. Shaw.

So, what's gotten into America's lovable, rationalist pop-culture shrink? I do mean Dr. Phil, a man who was unknown before Oprah gave him a forum. Now he is behaving like a Diva Deluxe. Last Friday, the good doctor was to speak at an obesity forum being held by California's first lady, Maria Shriver. As a condition of his appearance, Phil insisted the governor introduce him. In between, Arnold Schwarzenegger's calendar filled up and he felt he had to cancel.

Maria had Dr. Phil called, not once but twice, telling him the governor could not introduce him, just in case he wanted to back out. The day of the symposium, she arrived to find Dr. Phil sitting, pouting. He refused to speak. Finally she insisted he talk to her, and he said, "I am not happy." Maria said she was so sorry but they had called twice to advise him of the change. He stormed, "No one called me." An aide said nervously, "Yes, Phil, they did!" Dr. Phil was still irate: "No one told me!"

The great analyst of "getting along" continued to huff and puff. Someone said nervously that perhaps the governor could come by after all. Maria said, "No, we are not redoing the governor's schedule. Phil, I suggest you just leave if you feel this way." Dr. Phil insisted he had to use the bathroom first. Maria indicated it was down the hall. Dr. Phil said he could not use a public bathroom. Maria said calmly, "Well, that's the only one we have. Use it or not. Take your camera crew and go."

After the doctor availed himself of the facilities, he came back sheepishly and said, "I might as well stay now that I am here." Maria told him he didn't have to and she advised him, "My 7-year-old doesn't act the way you do." When Dr. Phil pled exhaustion from being absorbed in the Katrina rescues, Maria told him, "You're tired? How do you think those people feel?" So just in case you wonder, this exchange was not leaked by the first lady. Many people experienced this exchange, and it's the talk of California and TV land.

I noticed David Letterman, of all people, kissing Dr. Phil on the top of his bald head recently. I guess it's easier to get along with the doctor if one stands behind him.


THINGS ARE hopping down in Austin, the state capital of Texas! It is defi nitely a town to play in — as witness the youngest son of Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida, John Ellis Bush, arrested last week for public intoxication and resisting arrest. Austin was also the playground of the George W. Bush twins, before they came of age. They loved Chuy's, the great place for Texas margaritas! But Austinites are more exercised over rumors that President George Bush might put his presidential library in Austin. (The city already has one presidential library, that of Lyndon Johnson.) The University of Texas is offering the president three locations, two in Dallas, but one could be on Lake Austin Boulevard next to the Deep Eddy Cabaret nightclub. Local columnist John Kelso says he has trouble with the concept of President Bush having a library in what he calls "hippie dippy Austin," where the motto is "Stay Weird!" He says the idea of a reading library for this president is too much irony even for Kelso. He suggests Bush needs a Presidential Game Room and a big-screen TV. And it shouldn't be built near what he calls "a beer joint." In general, Kelso also says, "The war protests and daily eggings of the library would get old pretty darned quick."







AUTO PILOT

SEN. John Kerry doesn't need to listen to President Bush to criticize him. Kerry sat down to dinner at Café Milano in Georgetown last Thursday at 7:30 p.m. with three other men, and never glanced at the TV set at the bar during Bush's address from New Orleans. "Mr. Bush's speech ended at approximately 9:25 p.m. local time," Washington Times columnist John McCaslin noted. "Lo and behold, when he was still seated at the table wiping squid from his chin, Mr. Kerry responded to the president's address with a statement of his own, issued at exactly 9:54 p.m." Buried in Kerry's statement was this nugget: "Americans want an end to politics as usual." Pass the calamari.




A cause of mass Wisteria


Overexposure has made Eva seem, well, 'Desperate.'
Can she turn her rep around?


By MARK ELLWOOD


Eva Longoria at the MTV Video Music Awards

Longoria (l.), in jest, gets grabby with Felicity Huffman's Emmy in front of Nicollette Sheridan.

Farrah's fate should be one Eva tries to avoid.
Not since "Sex and the City" or "The Sopranos" has there been a season opener as anticipated as Sunday's return of "Desperate Housewives."

During hiatus, the stars have been as busy as their characters, making movies, promoting the show overseas and even, in Marcia Cross' case, getting engaged.

But no one's made more headlines than the youngest, foxiest housewife, Eva Longoria, who plays campy, trampy - and now pregnant - Gabrielle.

And it's not necessarily a good thing.


Longoria is very close to becoming the latest victim of ADD - that's Attention-demanding Diva Disorder - the same disease that's felled such star-struck TV hotties in the past as Suzanne Somers, Farrah Fawcett and Shannen Doherty.

Some industry experts are concerned, for good reason: First, Eva was snapped wearing a cheeky "I'll Have Your Baby, Brad" T-shirt. Then she raved about how Brazilian waxing opened up "a whole new sexual side of me" before being spotted smooching Lindsay Lohan on the lips.

But it was telling Self magazine about her fondness for vibrators (she has two - a Pocket Rocket and a Rampant Rabbit) that made Eva true tabloid fodder, gaining her not just dozens of sex-toy gifts from fans but also a formal reprimand from her corporate bosses at Disney (which owns the network, ABC, on which "Housewives" airs).

Then Longoria went against accepted protocol by taping a segment for rival network NBC's "Dateline" show instead of ABC's own network newsmagazines - according to reports, she went with "Dateline" because that program focused a piece on her alone, rather than on all five of the catty co-stars.

Eva's party-hopping at the MTV Video Music Awards in Miami - not to mention the bizarre heels-and-bikini combo she wore onstage - was the natural climax of the Summer of Eva.

Image consultant John Battaglia, who's worked with everyone from Beyoncé to Usher and Jessica Simpson, says that Eva's VMAs visit was a major gaffe.

"I don't understand what she had to gain by being there, other than personally, and I'd recommend that she not be at the VMAs," he says. "I don't see how it fits into what she's doing now. And when you're on the brink of overexposure, you should stick to your industry."

Indeed, Longoria's love of the limelight could threaten to derail the "Housewives" juggernaut. "She's a bit of a bull in a china shop when it comes to publicity," says celebrity publicist Denise Dorman, who has a simple benchmark for clients worried about excessive coverage. "I think Kathy Griffin is the absolute bar for whether or not you're messing up in the media when you're a celebrity. And right now, Eva has to be very careful she doesn't become part of Kathy Griffin's material for her act."

Dorman believes Eva went into overdrive because of a snub. "When the Emmys overlooked her, she turbocharged and felt very threatened. So she had to get herself on some [magazine] covers."

While In Touch Weekly's Matt Sullivan admits Longoria has a tendency to "do the impulsive, attention-getting thing first and think of the consequences later," he also stresses that she's quick to apologize for any missteps (that Pitt-loving T-shirt, for one - she reportedly wrote Jennifer Aniston a note).

"She's the youngest of all the housewives, and the rest of them have been around the block and done the fame thing before," says Sullivan. "But at the same time, she's 30, so she's waited a long time for this, too. It's very exciting and you can't really blame her." After all, Teri Hatcher also told a men's magazine of her love for vibrators - but was neither chastised for it, nor sent battery-powered gifts.

PR exec Howard Bragman agrees that it's been a long, hot, Longoria-filled summer. But he holds the TV show accountable for her overexposure. "My philosophy is that careers should be cooked in a Crockpot and not a microwave," he says. "And I feel that, unfortunately for all the girls, the entire show's been microwaved a bit too much."

He calls this process the "piñata syndrome," where hot new stars are built up only so that they can later be knocked down. "The first time there's a ratings slip, the media will ask, 'Is "Housewives" fever over?'" predicts Bragman.

He believes Longoria's outré cheekiness is charming, rather than off-putting. Which means there's hope. "She's a beautiful girl, with a great body, and there's nothing wrong with her enjoying that and having fun."

Eva may even be trying to emulate Kim Cattrall, who so successfully merged her real-life persona with man-eater Samantha Jones of "Sex and the City" that she snagged book and TV gigs as a sexpert.

Here's hoping she doesn't come out with her own line of vibrators.


Advice for living happily ever after


Since Eva Longoria has charm and talent to spare, all's not lost - regardless of her bizarre behavior. Experts offer some simple fixes to turn her from tabloid-ready disaster to TV icon. In other words, here's how she can avoid becoming the next Farrah:

BECOME BENEFICIAL

"When I rep a celebrity, to me they're a brand, not just a person - and a brand has attributes and things it stands for," says PR exec Howard Bragman. "I'd say take some of the heat that's on her and turn it to something of value - say Katrina relief or breast-cancer awareness." (Longoria's just announced she'll auction her VMA bathing suit to raise money for Katrina relief).

TAKE A LESSON FROM ANGELINA

Publicist Denise Dorman suggests tweaking Longoria's personal life. "It's simple: less vibrator talk and more talk about marriage and children," she says. Angelina Jolie navigated a tricky personal storm by focusing publicity efforts on her kids and on her genuine passion for working with the United Nations.

GET YOUR FANNY IN THE FRONT ROW

Image Consultant Lucyann Barry suggestsLongoria turn to fall fashion; the collections are ideal for the sexy but sophisticated look Longoria should aim for. Her pick of the labels: Gucci, YSL and Alexander McQueen. "This fall, there's plenty of beautiful long lines, pencil skirts, which are very body-conscious but have an Old World sophistication about them."

M.E.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The Texas Tiger Chronicles

The Texas Tiger Chronicles

R U THE GIRL?

I did not get to watch ANTM's reunion show because I was on the phone with Bobby Brown Jr. But I am not convinced that Naima made the most of the past year. EVA was everywhere and where was Naima? She should really have worked that BLACK angle. See, Keenya told ya'll last year that she "didn;t get that black vide" from Naima. Hey Naima, where is your KING cover? SMOOTH cover?

Back to T-Boz and Chili
Chili's mic is on. T-Boz , your's isn't. But your prerecorded tracks are working flawlessly...I only wish your lips could keep up with them.

T-Boz has a body like Beyonce....sometimes she looks fit, sometimes chunky. Today T-Boz is giving me thickness round the waist and face. Maybe she is lip-syncing cause she is bloated.

And I know Bobby will kill me for saying this but this crab is as borind as a Destiny's CHild concert. And yes...I said it. Re-read, internalize it, get into it and then get over it.

Destiny's Child are BORING performers...and for that matter so is Beyonce (in the long run). Sure, Beyonce can rock you for 4 minutes on the VMAs, but that live DVD is a hot mess. Not impressed. Britney Spears does it better...and no she didn;t sing but still, Britney did it better.

There I go rambling again...let me get back to being negative about TLC.....I miss left eye.

What I always loved about TLC were the 3 personalities. They are 3 beautiful funny women. Would you watch a TV show about Beyonce and the girls? Hell no. Cause they are boing and fake. They pretend to be these wholesome Christian Texas girls (which they aren;t) whereas TLC kept it real.

DC3 - We are God-fearing Christian ladies who don;t sleep around outside of marriage and who love everyone. (B*T*H please)

TLC - We are some bisexual vixens who will fuck your husband and burn your muthafuckin house down on our way out the door. (Keepign it real).

I liked TLC for being who they were. They fought, they love, they vandalized, they set shit on fire, they slept with the rich and powerful and when their men got out of line they threw them bos on them.

T-Boz - I hate the hair and the outfit.

Chili - I admire you for never getting breast implants and working the flat look. And again, they kept it real. Beyonce's are fake.

And TLC always had better weaves.

the winner is....OH SO KRISY?

I did not think she would win cause she ain't cute...AT ALL. And she has on a lot of makeup and still looks a mess....so I would hate to see her without makeup and club lights.

And to continue rambling, I also missed Girlfriends and Half and Half last night.

And this NEW black movie looks a shitty mess. The Blacks are now going to the Skating RInk. We had the funeral (the bad bad bad movie with Jada, Cedric and Toni Braxton - so trashy I can;t think of its name), the black wedding (The Brothers), the black picnic (the Cookout), the black college (School Daze), but when are we going to have the black European vacation. They act like we all domestic. I been to Paris!


I love how fake Mira is about being happy to be the #2 bitch...she better than me cause I would have had my knife out.

I like this new song - I BET.

LONG LIVE TLC with the krispy girl who needs a makeover. SOmebody call Tyra!

Did ya'll hear she paid a plastic surgeon to come on TV and LIE and say that her breasts are real....yea right.





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Sunday, September 18, 2005

My Emmy CommenTerry Part 1

E!
Why do you have 25 cohosts? If you didn’t think Star Jones-Reynolds and Kathy Griffin could hold it down, I can assure this new format is a mess!

They have Kathy and Star on the red carpet with other E! correspondents who are all a collective YAWN. And one lady who I won't even name is talking over Kathy's jokes. Kathy is clearly irritated and I can tell she was notified about the format of the show via email...but after she had signed the contract. This is more painful to watch than an Al Reynolds photo shoot.

TV GUIDE
Joan Rivers is hilarious. I would love a Joan vs. Kathy match-up on the red carpet.
Favorite Joke so far:
On Hurricane Trina
I don't know what they are going to have a harder time drying out, New Orleans or Diana Ross.

Back to E! (I am trying to watch both)
Kathy - I love you but let's talk. I think we need about four shots of Botox under each eye.

Star - We wanted to see your body slimmer, not your face. What's going on? But you look FABULOUS.

And I am not enjoying Kathy Griffin. She is one of my favorite comedians and this E! host is ruining her jokes. I hate this woman! Who is she?

They even have Carson from Queer Eye on here. I really don't like hearing men comment all night on women's clothing.

But I will add my town cents, as I feel appropriate.

Teri Hatcher in J. Bendel - its a purple, strapless gown giving me a vintage feel.

Star Jones just brought out her Maltese in a wicker basket carrying case. She is so classy. I love her, despite the nasty thoughts I have about her marriage.

Ok...I am so bored.....mind you, my commenterry is live as well so I am trying to get through these boring ass chatter breaks and interviews.

Ok...flashbulb! I think the third woman, who is BORING, is there as a buffer between Star and Kathy. Star Jones tried to have it written in Kathy's contract that she cannot say anything negative about her for a year. I don't think Kathy signed that particular contract. And what I notice is that Star tosses it back to this third woman and has not even acknowledged that Kathy is there. It’s kinda uncoordinated. Star Jones is talking OVER all of them.

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 3:42 PM :: 2 Comments:

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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Tyra, Rufus, and other musings

The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Mood: Sullen and Gloomy
Music: Jamiroquai "Little L" Why does it have to be like this? I can never tell. You make me love you with a litte L.
Food: Baked Chicken and Pasta and Cherry Vanilla Haagen-Dazs

Last night I went to go see my friend Stephanie (http://www.stephanietodd.com) perform at this club in the Village. She is SUCH a great singer and writer and I could listen to her and her guitar all night....much unlike that second album of bullcrap that India.Arie put out.

Then my date and I went to the only soulfood kitchen in the Village called the Pink Tea Cup (doesn't the name just have you gagging?). So anyway, I ordered a hamburger and fries cause that is my favorite food combination. The french fries were freshly cut and the hamburger was fresh too since it take 35 mins but it was worth the wait. The shop is decorated with pics of famous and formerly-famous celebrites like Oprah, Mary J Blige and Me'lissa Morgan. I think I want to go back and try the fried chicken and pork chops.

Stef makes me want to learn to play the guitar. She was up there singing about some man who hurt her in a song called So Stupid and I could so relate. And she had some inspirational gems too. Excellent artist.

I do not like Michelle Willaims in the new GAPS ads. I know this came out of nowhere but it just hit me. ANd ya'll know how I feel about John Legend and his supposed-talent so you knwo where I stand on him messing up MY favorite Isley Brother's song "Hello It's Me."

Did I tell you that two weeks ago I went to a karoke bar and sung Ain't Nobody by Rufus. I swear to God I was the bomb. I was up there rifting and ad-libbing and went I got to the end I made the DJ vamp. Vamp. vamp. Just like my role model Jackee Washington during the comeback tour and the Live From Compton album.

My comment (one word) on the new Tyra Bank's Show - yawn!.


Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 10:47 AM :: 1 Comments:

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CommenTerry on Hurricane Trina and my half-assed explanation for not Blogging

The Texas Tiger Chronicles

I told ya'll on day one I was MOODY. Now it has been brought to my attention that I have not blogged in a long time. I have several reasons. Please pick one that best satisfies you and if you are still unhappy with my explanations please use the comment tab to vent.

#1. I feel IGNORED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED. I told you I really felt like most of my friends would totally ignore my blog and that this was supposed to be just like a web journal for me since I don't expect anyone to read it. Well I have gotten some comments from people that I have not been blogging so I guess people do read it on occasion. But since I don't know who is reading I kinda feel unmotivated to vent. You know I like an audience. Make yourself know. Do I have to start shouting out my cell number like Mike Jones to feel the love from my people?

#2. I am MOODY. I cannot stress this enough. I have mood swings but not to the degree that I need Paxcil or that other stuff. But like last week, I was feeling so very EVIL that I knew if I got on here I was gonna say really nasty things about all the celebrities on BET's Hurricane Trina telethon and I didn't think that would be productive...though it should have been done. I apologize but someone needs to get Erykah Badu together, address Queen Latifah's new butch look (well...I guess it aint new but she need to put that back in the closet) as well as the whole freestyle friday thing. Remember that? Ok...quick recap:

There was this really butch girl who was a former contestant on Freestyle friday...and by the way, she had an instant connection to Queen Latifah. I'm just saying. But anway, she was ont here with her family because they are all from Nawlins and they lost their home because of Trina. So BET present the girl, let's just call her Keisha, and her family with a brand new SUV to get back on their feet.

Backup...they lost their home, their job (they ran a school) and everything else and BET gave thema new SUV. Now prior to this, BET's exec board donate $250,000 to the releif effort. Haven;t you read all the stories about African AMericans owning nice cars but not owning homes? So why would the nation's only Black netowrk give a homeless family an SUV. Isn;t that playing into the sterotype? They don't have anywhere to live but now they have a 2005 gas-guzzling SUV. Make sense? And oh...the family was SOOOOOOOOO excited. I would have been happeir had BET been like "Here is $45,000....please use it as a downpayment." I mean...really.

And anyone who has been to one of her shows knows that Miss Badu likes to go off on tangents that only make sense in here haze-induced world. So she was on there looking a hot mess with finger-waved braids (yea....you read that right) and talking about the slave master and all the slaves and peave and love and blah blah blah. She was of course singing some abstract shit she made up in the limo on the way to the benefit in-between puffs and it sounded like ash.

Aaron Nevile - get that mole removed and though we are all excited that you are 75 years old and have the body of a 45 year old on steroids, do you always have to wear the Smeediums?

Kindred The Family SOul - Ya'll still together? Who booked you for the show?

See that is what happens and that is why I am not down with the M.J. benefit single cause they be calling all these forgotten celebrities and asking them to come back on tv. I was so waiting for BET to announce the reunion appearance of Total in honor of Hurricane Trina.

#3. I almost forgot I was supposed to be apologizing and stuff. I have been a little upset for the past week or so. Problems in my love life. I have a big fight with someone I like and a good friend of my upset me so I didn;t feel like getting online a lot. ANd oh, I am still mad at Kenneth Cole for not inviting me to his show for Fashion Week. After all I have done for him. Its not just the pages of GQ that sell his clothes. People always compliment my style so I feel that his success is a result of me just as it is a result of craftmanship and marketing. I tell ya, it's enough to make you put your finger on the trigger.

Daily Gossip Update:

THE BOLD AND THE GANGSTA (courtesy of The New York Daily News)

Death Row Records head Suge Knight may be getting mobility back in his leg after his Aug. 28 shooting in Miami. But, for now, the rest of his assets are frozen.

California Superior Court Judge Adrienne M. Grover issued the ruling the day after the shooting. It follows a March court order for Knight to pay $107 million to Lydia Harris, who claimed she helped start Death Row Records and was owed money from the recording label.

The latest ruling favors Harris' ex-husband, Michael, an imprisoned drug dealer who claims he deserves half of her take.

Michael Harris, who's doing 28 years, has claimed he put up $1.5 million from behind bars in 1991 to help start the record label. Though Knight denies this, Judge Grover chilled his wealth to prevent him from "disposing [of] or transferring his assets," said Michael Harris' lawyer Steven Goldberg.

A lawyer for Knight could not be reached for comment.

I think the woman and her husband are gangsta and brave. If Suge Knight owed me money I would just add it to my credit card debt and call it a lost.

WACKO JACKO RECORDS SONGS FOR THE KIDS (hurt by Hurricane Trina)

Some scoffed when scandal-scarred Michael Jackson said he was going to organize a "We Are the World"-style song to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. But, despite Jay Leno jokes about helping storm-tossed boys, His Gloveliness claims he has major star commitments for his song "From the Bottom of My Heart." Jay-Z, Mariah Carey, Missy Elliott, R. Kelly, Wyclef Jean, Lenny Kravitz, Lauryn Hill, Mary J. Blige, Kenneth (Babyface) Edmonds, James Brown, Snoop Dogg, The O'Jays and Ciara are among the artists said to be performing. Jackson's pal, Bahrain's Prince Abdullah Hamad Alkhalifa, is due to release the track on 2 Seas Records

I am so tired of 100 millionaires banning together to ask us broke middle-class people to send our money to a cause. yes, I feel sorry for the survivors. But um, I bet Ms. Carey is going to pull up in a limo wearing 2 million in jewels with a $10,000 a day hair stylists, but she gonna ask me to send a check somewhere? Or buy this single...hell no...I will see all of you on Napster thank you very much.

How about we donate some of the money we charge those records labels and production companies for food, hair/makeup, limo services and airfare all to the victims. And why do you need all those people? I haven’t liked a benefit song since We Are the World and that should have been the end of it. I guess if it really makes money that is a good thing but its not like you can really hear Latoya Jackson and Pia Zadora singing the chorus of We Are the World anyway so what was the point in having them there? So they could say they did something? Bulltwinkie.


USHER SUPPORTS KANYE

""Usher is taking umbrage with reports that he doesn't support his pal Kanye West. We told you yesterday that Master P. had knocked Kanye for asserting that President Bush "doesn't care about black people." But Usher insisted yesterday: "If it wasn't for his comments, there would not be an open dialogue about the underserved people in the Gulf Region.

Our country is in a state of emergency — instead of the media trying to turn celebrities against one another, we should all come together as one and support the victims of this devastating tragedy" …""

I like that. Family sticks together.

ESSENCE TO KEEP FEST IN NAWLINS

""Essence Magazine still plans to throw the mag's annual Music Festival in New Orleans next July. "We're sending someone down to check out the sites soon," producer Nicole Wright said Monday night at a party here to celebrate the mag joining the Time-Warner family. Time Inc. chief Ann Moore is thrilled to have the African-American staff on board.

"They're always so lively," she told us. "They can turn even an ordinary staff meeting into a revival meeting." She said it…""

WOOOOOOOOOOOW. I know the Daily News added a lil flair to the repetition of this quote but damn. It kinda makes you do a double take the way they printed it.

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 10:30 AM :: 0 Comments:

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---------------oOo---------------


I told ya'll on day one I was MOODY. Now it has been brought to my attention that I have not blogged in a long time. I have several reasons. Please pick one that best satisfies you and if you are still unhappy with my explanations please use the comment tab to vent.

#1. I feel IGNORED AND UNDERAPPRECIATED. I told you I really felt like most of my friends would totally ignore my blog and that this was supposed to be just like a web journal for me since I don't expect anyone to read it. Well I have gotten some comments from people that I have not been blogging so I guess people do read it on occasion. But since I don't know who is reading I kinda feel unmotivated to vent. You know I like an audience. Make yourself know. Do I have to start shouting out my cell number like Mike Jones to feel the love from my people?

#2. I am MOODY. I cannot stress this enough. I have mood swings but not to the degree that I need Paxcil or that other stuff. But like last week, I was feeling so very EVIL that I knew if I got on here I was gonna say really nasty things about all the celebrities on BET's Hurricane Trina telethon and I didn't think that would be productive...though it should have been done. I apologize but someone needs to get Erykah Badu together, address Queen Latifah's new butch look (well...I guess it aint new but she need to put that back in the closet) as well as the whole freestyle friday thing. Remember that? Ok...quick recap:

There was this really butch girl who was a former contestant on Freestyle friday...and by the way, she had an instant connection to Queen Latifah. I'm just saying. But anway, she was ont here with her family because they are all from Nawlins and they lost their home because of Trina. So BET present the girl, let's just call her Keisha, and her family with a brand new SUV to get back on their feet.

Backup...they lost their home, their job (they ran a school) and everything else and BET gave thema new SUV. Now prior to this, BET's exec board donate $250,000 to the releif effort. Haven;t you read all the stories about African AMericans owning nice cars but not owning homes? So why would the nation's only Black netowrk give a homeless family an SUV. Isn;t that playing into the sterotype? They don't have anywhere to live but now they have a 2005 gas-guzzling SUV. Make sense? And oh...the family was SOOOOOOOOO excited. I would have been happeir had BET been like "Here is $45,000....please use it as a downpayment." I mean...really.

And anyone who has been to one of her shows knows that Miss Badu likes to go off on tangents that only make sense in here haze-induced world. So she was on there looking a hot mess with finger-waved braids (yea....you read that right) and talking about the slave master and all the slaves and peave and love and blah blah blah. She was of course singing some abstract shit she made up in the limo on the way to the benefit in-between puffs and it sounded like ash.

Aaron Nevile - get that mole removed and though we are all excited that you are 75 years old and have the body of a 45 year old on steroids, do you always have to wear the Smeediums?

Kindred The Family SOul - Ya'll still together? Who booked you for the show?

See that is what happens and that is why I am not down with the M.J. benefit single cause they be calling all these forgotten celebrities and asking them to come back on tv. I was so waiting for BET to announce the reunion appearance of Total in honor of Hurricane Trina.

#3. I almost forgot I was supposed to be apologizing and stuff. I have been a little upset for the past week or so. Problems in my love life. I have a big fight with someone I like and a good friend of my upset me so I didn;t feel like getting online a lot. ANd oh, I am still mad at Kenneth Cole for not inviting me to his show for Fashion Week. After all I have done for him. Its not just the pages of GQ that sell his clothes. People always compliment my style so I feel that his success is a result of me just as it is a result of craftmanship and marketing. I tell ya, it's enough to make you put your finger on the trigger.

Daily Gossip Update:

THE BOLD AND THE GANGSTA (courtesy of The New York Daily News)

Death Row Records head Suge Knight may be getting mobility back in his leg after his Aug. 28 shooting in Miami. But, for now, the rest of his assets are frozen.

California Superior Court Judge Adrienne M. Grover issued the ruling the day after the shooting. It follows a March court order for Knight to pay $107 million to Lydia Harris, who claimed she helped start Death Row Records and was owed money from the recording label.

The latest ruling favors Harris' ex-husband, Michael, an imprisoned drug dealer who claims he deserves half of her take.

Michael Harris, who's doing 28 years, has claimed he put up $1.5 million from behind bars in 1991 to help start the record label. Though Knight denies this, Judge Grover chilled his wealth to prevent him from "disposing [of] or transferring his assets," said Michael Harris' lawyer Steven Goldberg.

A lawyer for Knight could not be reached for comment.

I think the woman and her husband are gangsta and brave. If Suge Knight owed me money I would just add it to my credit card debt and call it a lost.

WACKO JACKO RECORDS SONGS FOR THE KIDS (hurt by Hurricane Trina)

Some scoffed when scandal-scarred Michael Jackson said he was going to organize a "We Are the World"-style song to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. But, despite Jay Leno jokes about helping storm-tossed boys, His Gloveliness claims he has major star commitments for his song "From the Bottom of My Heart." Jay-Z, Mariah Carey, Missy Elliott, R. Kelly, Wyclef Jean, Lenny Kravitz, Lauryn Hill, Mary J. Blige, Kenneth (Babyface) Edmonds, James Brown, Snoop Dogg, The O'Jays and Ciara are among the artists said to be performing. Jackson's pal, Bahrain's Prince Abdullah Hamad Alkhalifa, is due to release the track on 2 Seas Records

I am so tired of 100 millionaires banning together to ask us broke middle-class people to send our money to a cause. yes, I feel sorry for the survivors. But um, I bet Ms. Carey is going to pull up in a limo wearing 2 million in jewels with a $10,000 a day hair stylists, but she gonna ask me to send a check somewhere? Or buy this single...hell no...I will see all of you on Napster thank you very much.

How about we donate some of the money we charge those records labels and production companies for food, hair/makeup, limo services and airfare all to the victims. And why do you need all those people? I haven’t liked a benefit song since We Are the World and that should have been the end of it. I guess if it really makes money that is a good thing but its not like you can really hear Latoya Jackson and Pia Zadora singing the chorus of We Are the World anyway so what was the point in having them there? So they could say they did something? Bulltwinkie.


USHER SUPPORTS KANYE

""Usher is taking umbrage with reports that he doesn't support his pal Kanye West. We told you yesterday that Master P. had knocked Kanye for asserting that President Bush "doesn't care about black people." But Usher insisted yesterday: "If it wasn't for his comments, there would not be an open dialogue about the underserved people in the Gulf Region.

Our country is in a state of emergency — instead of the media trying to turn celebrities against one another, we should all come together as one and support the victims of this devastating tragedy" …""

I like that. Family sticks together.

ESSENCE TO KEEP FEST IN NAWLINS

""Essence Magazine still plans to throw the mag's annual Music Festival in New Orleans next July. "We're sending someone down to check out the sites soon," producer Nicole Wright said Monday night at a party here to celebrate the mag joining the Time-Warner family. Time Inc. chief Ann Moore is thrilled to have the African-American staff on board.

"They're always so lively," she told us. "They can turn even an ordinary staff meeting into a revival meeting." She said it…""

WOOOOOOOOOOOW. I know the Daily News added a lil flair to the repetition of this quote but damn. It kinda makes you do a double take the way they printed it.

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 10:29 AM :: 2 Comments:

Post / Read Comments

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