The Texas Tiger Chronicles

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Naomi goes OOPS upside ya head AGAIN!

Mood: Happy. Peppy. Fun. To be honest with you, I haven’t been like this all week. Earlier this week I had a Naomi Campbell moment. Complete with a flying cell phone. I’m in the market for a new Nokia now.

Mode: DKNY faded blue jeans, black Kenneth Cole boots, vintage black/beige cowboy shirt.

Motif: How can you always be happy? (See below for Liza Minnelli’s advice)

Music: “Black Sweat” by Prince. The first time I heard this song I thought Prince had gone into the lab with Lil’ John cause I had the sudden urge to hop on a table and do naughty things for some much needed singles. The funky vibe of this song is vintage Prince circa the late late 80s (think the Black album). This song does something to me. After all, that is what music is supposed to do. Take you to a higher place. Speaking of which, I had a religious experience in the middle of the Harlem Grill last Friday. After a long night of bar-hopping, me and a friend hit the hottest spot in Harlem for some late night dining and flirting. I ordered up some spicy chicken wings with a glass of water so I could begin the detoxing process, adding a slice of lemon for zest. But my friend had other ideas. I looked up from my glass of water a few minutes later to find the waitress placing a chilled bottle of Verve Cliquot on our table. Chicken and champagne…I felt like a rapper with a hit record. As I downed three glasses and wiped my hands on our linen napkins (that we had specially requested) the DJ took me to another place. Playing the new track from Shawna “Getting Some Head” the beat hit me full-tilt boogie. As the bass pulsated through my body (making me think I had unknowingly put my cracked Nokia on vibrate) I politely grabbed the edge of the table and started doing things in my chair that I have not done since I was a freshman. I wrote my name in my chair using nothing but my waist. I haven’t done anything like that in public since I was a freshman. Ok, since I was a sophomore. Who am I kidding….since my last year of graduate school. But it was a while ago nonetheless.


Catwalk diva Naomi Campbell was arrested this morning in NYC for allegedly attacking her assistant with a shoe!

NYPD sourced say the incident occurred around 8am this morning when the alleged victim, a 41-year-old woman, was struck in the head by a flying cellphone, allegedly thrown by Campbell. After receiving a laceration on the back of her head, the victim was transported to Lenox Hill Hospital where she received 4 stitches to the back of her head.

But that is only where the drama started. Or at least where the fabulousity (I think that is how Kimora spells it) of it all began. Naomi was arrested at her Park Avenue apartment and was photographed getting into a police car wearing a black baseball cap, dark sunglasses (they appeared to be Chanel) and a white-mink pancho. Now, it is chilly in NYC, but it ain’t cold. So why might she have been wearing a pancho? Well…glad you asked. She was concealing the handcuffs. It was diva-glam at its best. You would have never even known that she was handcuffed. She looked like she was on the way to a policeman’s picnic in the Hamptons. It was awesome.

By the way, it all started after Campbell accused her employee of stealing a pair of $200 Chip and Pepper jeans which she had planned for an Oprah segment being fimled in her kitchen.

She is charged with 2nd-degree assualt. If convicted she could do a maximum of seven years.



Insiders says the spots inside the earlobes of supermodel Kate Moss stem from accupunture treatments she is using to curb her alleged cocaine addiction.

The 2,000-year-old form of Chinese medicine, using tiny needles to stimulate the body’s pressure points, is believed to help treat addiction according to the 2002 National Health Interview Survey.

TV Highlights:

Saturday night Showtime Cable network will be serving up a little slice of heaven with the rebroadcast of the legendary special Liza with a Z starring the icon Liza Minnelli. First broadcast in 1972 when Liza was at her peak (there has been several) the special was taped shortly after Liza won an Oscar win for Best Actress in Cabaret. Choreography by the legendary Bob Fosse with costumes designed by Halston, expect to see Lady M high-kicking and singing her heart out. She is truly an entertainer.

I was watcing her on Larry King earlier this week and I found her vibrant, witty and simply a delight. A caller asked her how she remained happy and she told him “You can remember things the way you want to.”

Lady M says she chooses to remember only the good times in her life. And even during the bad times, she says she only chooses to remember the fun she had.

And if you don’t recall, Lady M allegedly felt out of her bed during a drunken stupor and broke her hip a few years back. I imagine she only chooses to remember the morphine from that incident. Good times.

this Sunday evening Tori Spelling (her role in the movie Trick was stunning) debuts "So Notorious," at 10 p.m. on VH1. Tori will be playing herself, an heiress actress,battling tabloid rumors (from anorexia to plastic surgery) and rumors of nepotism that seem to hamper her career. Her mother will be played by the lovely Loni Anderson who I am excited to see return to TV.

The crap Burt Reynold put her through must have taken years and years of Botox to erase. Welcome back Miss Loni!

Last night Britney Spears made her appearance on Will and Grace. I thought the episode was funny, the writing was fierece and Mrs. Federline looked fat. I know she just had a baby. But there was not excuse for the fatness. She could have done some of the same things Nicole Richie and I do. She’s just lazy. Knitting pins, Slim T (available at your local GNC) and the good ole fashioned index finger. You have to do the WORK!

On Broadway

Tonight I am going to see Sarah Jones in Bridge and Tunnel. Meryl Streep simply raves about her. I’ll give you my thoughts on the show later.

Also, James Earl Jones is in rehearsals to play Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall one-man show at the Westport Playhouse.

On the Street

Gwyneth Paltrow was spotted downing a can of Guinness on Tuesday evening while at the lower East Side sushi bar Cube 63 in NYC. That may not seem like its important buy Paltrow is more than a few months pregnant with the follow-up child to Apple (the 1st born). It has been reported that some doctors are saying a little Guinness won’t hurt the baby but dang. She should save all the drinking for after the birth during the baby-naming process….like the last time.

Sexy gay divorcee-to-be Jessica Simpson has plans to adopt a baby. Simpson has been having a hard time with the press as of late with papperazzi publishing bad photos and detailed (sometimes fictional) accounts of her sexual exploits without her husband Nick Lachey. But the plans to become a mother should do wonders for her career. But I’m sure no one at her PR firm thought of that. In between bed-hopping, bar-hopping, and Pizza Hut tart-popping and meetings with lawyers to keep Nick from getting his hands on her money, its only natural that maternal instinct would kick in.

A blind item courtesy of the NY Daily Post:

Which female half of a soon-to-be ex-couple has been charging up a storm on her husband's credit card? We're talking a three-month spending spree including jewelry and a staggering $12,000 in one visit to NYC beauty salon J. Sisters.

My guess:

Posted by Texas Tiger in NYC :: 11:59 PM :: 1 Comments:

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